reality check...

"am i good enough to get that?"...this question pops up in my mind sometimes...probably more than sometimes...where 'that' keeps changing...concious self-doubt or just a passing thought of the sub-concious mind?? i dont know...the anwer to that question...i dont know again....can someone tell me that answer?? no answer to that question either..... do i want someone to tell me the answer?? may be yes...do i want someone to console me...what for???....why do i want someone to 'talk' with me, when i know it is all in my mind...i dont know again...will something help at all??...may be...may be...may be....and the story just keeps going...contemplation is a good time killer anyway....

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my friend Alok turned 25 today....so what?? everybody turns 25...whats the big deal??...the 'deal' is that we are friends for more than 19 years now...yeah...19...amazing how we are friends for so long....we went to KG together...which is the proof of concept that atleast somebody can bear me....or is it vice-versa...i wonder how much more we have to bear each other....its time he gets a girl for himself and stops bothering me.... :-)

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A line from the song 'Aankhon ke Saagar' from the album 'Saagar' by 'Fuzon'...probably my 'song of the year' ...never fails to 'kill' me...every time the same kick...that same feeling which i can't define...

sabhi dooriyaan.....yeh majbooriyaan....
bhula do unhe....main hoon yahan....

love...longing...sadness...eagerness...passion...pain...dilemma..desperation...and that ever so present confusion....

and why do i like it so much....again, i dont know.....

ganpati bappa morya

it was Ganesh Chathurthi day before yesterday. One more Ganesh Chathurthi when I was not at home and where my heart was all day long....it gets crazy sometimes....its already 8 years that i've been away from home and the good old days...and i have no idea whether i will ever be able to settle back in the same place...I think about these things sometimes and the only lines that come to my mind are those from a Pink Floyd song ...."I have become Comfortably Numb"...I dashed of a mail to all my friends from Nagpur, about the usual days of Ganesh Chathurthi in Nagpur...and I was a little amazed that no one replied....which leads me to draw two conclusions...

1) Either they have learned and have become Comfortably Numb and dont want to think about the Nagpur days and feel bad about not being there..OR

2) they actually didnt have as great and wonderful Ganesh Chathurthi memories time as I've have.... and both the reasons are sad.....but whatever..here's the mail....

***nagpuri public..

kya chal raha hain...hope you are all doing well..
wish you all a very happy ganesh chathurthi...

its the time of the year to remember "nagoba galli", "vargani/pavti book", mandap and lighting walas, the fancy dress competitions and the housie games organized by your mandals, the aarti's and more importantly, the good prasad after the aarti, the musical chair competitions and the 'sports' games, two days of holidays at schools and playing 'hit' songs in your mandap instead of bhajans, the good feeling of wearing a new dress, the visarjan at shukrawali talav/telangkhedi, the gulal ...and most importantly...takar takar takar...yes, the sundal :-)....nothing can beat that...

take care and long live nagpur..

Punit***

the classic love story of america and long weekends...

America thrives on weekends....I mean it....250 million Americans have a plan for every weekend...no kidding....and if it is a long weekend., then..."Thou shalt have to have a long weekend plan, my son" is what Jesus announces from the holy heavens. I had to hang my head in silent shame when I answered 'nothing' to the question, "Whats your plan for this weekend, Punit" by Debra, the secretary at my new office. I sometimes get a little irritated by this weekend culture. As Paul Resier says in his book Couplehood.."my best weekend would be to sit at home, listen to good music, talk to a good friend, read a good book and lots of newspapers and sleep a lot!!"...and I am living that exact weekend...a long weekend to be more precise.... My friends and roomies have gone to St. Louis in Missouri, about 3 hours from my town, but I skipped the plans coz i didnt feel like going...which drew a lot of flak from all four sides...but whatever...

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The good side of skipping a trip was that I was able to finish the book "Jack: Straight from the gut" by Jack Welch, who was the CEO of GE for 20+ years..and whom the great Warren Buffet called the Tiger Woods of Management! It was fascinating to see the details of how a business with more than $100 billion in revenues and more than 3,00,000 people was managed and should be managed. The one thing which this guy stressed on a lot and which I strongly believe in was that "It is all about people...". They say that great minds think alike...I don't think it is difficult to draw a conclusion about me then....:-)

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My roomies from Louisiana ( which has been severely hit by the hurricane Katrina) had come down in June to watch the F1 race at the Indianapolis circuit (again about 3 hours from my town..). We managed a trip to Chicago the day before...here are some pictures... watch the faces in the picture on the left....Kodak Moment..;-)