Fading away...

This bond between you and me..
sadly, but surely , we can feel it slowly dying...
this rotting of camaraderie, both of us can see..
I can only wish our minds were lying...

a laughable misunderstanding..
you go first, why should I go...
wishing, wanting, willing, demanding..
venomous thoughts spat by satan wearing this garb of ego...

we need no pretence..
you know we know each other too well...
but maybe we demanded too much..
of what though, none of us can tell...

droplets of pain seep out now with every thought..
how, a dying friendship, is what years of affection bought...
WHY did we become apathetic to each others existence..
WHEN did the genuine care and concern turn into resistance...

i'm sure, years later, looking back on 'our' past..
you, like me, will let out a sigh..
and regret..why, by not caring, by just letting things flow..
we plundered our lives..
like that lovely candle died of an erronous blow...

'being friendly' and 'being friends'

A friend at my old office in mumbai often used to say, and at surprisingly appropriate moments, that 'being friends' and 'being friendly' are two very different things. "Whats the difference?" one may ask..but i dont think they will find a perfect answer for it. Atleast I could'nt. But there is a difference. For sure. I think you can not define it, rather only experience it with the passage of time. Pay a little attention and it will dawn on you...

I dont know why, but these days that quote keeps coming back to me more than ever before. Maybe its the impending end of my college life that demands a list of 'real friends' I will/have move(d) forward with or maybe a couple of events over the past few months have caused that lost quote to resurface from some less visited corner of my mind. I just feel that some people I thought were my friends were only really 'being friendly'. No that it's bad. In todays world, even 'being friendly' is what most people cannot afford to be and I salute those who atleast make it a point to do that. It is just that it is difficult for me to reciprocate by just 'being friendly'. But finally I have learn't that I will have to learn to do it. Learn to be friendly with all but friends with only a few. May be no more now. The line is not to be crossed, because then balancing the equation becomes very difficult.

Well, may be my definition of 'being friends' is different. But I have lived by it. And so have my real friends. And that is why I want to treasure them more than anything.

******

Current Mood: Nostalgic
Current Song: "Better Man" by "Robbie Williams"

Go easy on my conscience
'Cause it's not my fault
I know I've been told
To take the blame..
Lord I'm doing all I can
To be a Better Man..

The City of Blinding Lights

I made a trip to NY last July when my friend had come down from India on a business visit. Yeah, business visit..I still wonder...what was Motorola thinking??!! :) My friend from Atlanta joined us and we drove to NY from Chicago..2200 miles return trip..3 days of amazing fun...after a long time, I was like my old self...we 3 are great friends for the last 10 years...and there is nothing like a good trip with great friends....We had never thought that we three would be together..in New York of all places!! Three chums from a small obscure 'galli' in Nagpur, with three totally different lives... posing for a pic at Times Square in NY...anything can happen :)

Below are some pics. Finally, I got them after 8 months...thats good considering that I havent seen pics of my Kashmir trip yet..even after 8 years...I feel like killing my friends when I think of it...apparently, they are still playing a 'game' with me...its just meant to be a little joke that has lasted for eight years!!

anyway, First one is the set of pics from Niagara Falls and the Second one from Times Square..





















Current Mood: Irritated..too many things going on in my smaller than average mind...
Current Song: 'Answer' by 'Sarah Mclachlan'